Laughington is a mystical city, somewhere between fiction and reality. It is the place where I can feel free to parody politics and it's players without anyone taking me too seriously.

Everything here has at least a grain of truth to it... but the presentation will be a bit, well, looser than it would be on the campaign trail. If we can't laugh about politics, what's the point? If anyone feels that I have been too mean or misleading here, please tell me through the Contact Rick link at the bottom of this page. Your message will go directly to His Excellency, The Mayor of Laughington. For more serious information about Rick and the campaign, please view the About Rick and Issues sections of this site.

Whoever said "You have to have a thick skin to be in politics!" was SO right. I have had so many good experiences on the campaign trail, but I just have to laugh at some of the more odd or unpleasant ones. I will tell you about these experiences, as well as the really fun or heartwarming stories, as they occur:

September 20, 2006 - Outside the debate between Phil Heimlich and David Pepper in Amberley Village. I am handing cards out to people entering the hall for the debate. A woman looks at my card and says, "Oh good, you are a Democrat! I'll vote for you!" I say, "I hope you would vote for me even if you were a Republican". She yells back, "Oh, I AM a Republican!"

September 17-18, 2006 - Home. Really sore now.

September 16, 2006 - Deerfield Days. A man walks up to me, bends his head towards mine and says, "Don't tell anyone (he looks around), but I am a Republican, and I just can't do it anymore!".

Earlier that day, I ran in a 5K race. Now the only two times I have run in the last 3 years was here and the Race for the Cure. I figure I'll take it easy, until I see a guy in a Ken Blackwell t-shirt! I vow that I don't care where I finish, so long as I finish AHEAD of him. I got off to a fast start - TOO fast. My first mile was 7:27. I finished at a pace of 8:01, which was in plenty of time to beat Mr. Blackwell Shirt. Turns out it was Chris Romano, Deerfield Township Board Member. Here he is. It's a little fuzzy, but you can see his son cheering him on. Notice the color of his son's shirt!



I was actually 3rd in my age group! OK, OK, there were only 5 of us, but I was still 20th out of 68 runners! And I got a medal! As I was crossing the line, I felt like I was having a "Jean Schmidt" moment. I took a closer look at my medal, and I understood why. Look closely at the medal - I'm punching Jean in the face as I cross the finish line!



September 11, 2006 - Mason Hoxworth Blood Center. Rick gave the Gift of Life on September 11. Hoxworth has opened up a new blood center in Mason. Rick encourages all his supporters to become blood donors. Rick is 0-Negative, the "Universal Donor". He is hoping to meet the "Universal Voter" on November 7!


Just a little prick and a sting... that's what they ALL say!


Thanks, but where's my 10-gallon pin? Rick thought he was getting his 10-gallon pin at this donation. Unfortunately, an "Accounting Error" resulted in him being short 7 donations. Rick responded, "An accounting error? What do you take me for, a Hamilton County Commissioner?"


Eat your heart out, Carson Palmer! I BLEED Orange and Black!

September 10, 2006 - Funny things heard at the Susan G. Komen "Race For The Cure" in Mason. A woman comes up to me and says "I was at a concert recently where I saw two people with your t-shirt".
"Which concert?" I asked.
"Cheryl Crowe and John Mayer. They were right in front of me and I had to look at the shirts the entire time!"
"Were you near Row MM in the center?" I asked.
"Why yes, how did you know?"
"That was me and my Campaign Manager!".

I was on the last stretch of the run, and a group of women were walking the Race on the other side of the road. A teenager asked the older women in the group, "So what IS a colonoscopy, anyway?"

August 20, 2006 - SymmesFest. I have to say that one of the warmest receptions I have received during this campaign was at the Symmes Township Festival. Now, Symmes Township voted 68% for George W. Bush in 2004 and 75% for my opponent in 2002! I got love from Democrats, respect from Republicans, and a lot of good conversation. It was hot that day, and a young lady came up to me and offered me a bottle of water. As it turns out, I was the recipient of a random act of kindness! Thank you very much Grace Church!



August 9, 2006 - Vacation. I actually took a vacation in August. I've been going to the North Carolina beaches with the same group of friends since 1982! My friends have formed the NY-NC Committee To Elect Smith. The co-chairs of the Committee can be seen comparing the size of their "PACs" at the beach below.

August 2, 2006 - Warren County Democrats in Action Meeting. This was my first opportunity to try out my Job Growth position. My speech was well-received. HOW well received, you might ask? Well, I made an impression on 7-year old Gavin, who drew this picture of me while I was speaking. I think I look like Superman! Now, you know Superman would never lose an election! Thank you Gavin. I'll use this as protection against Republican Kryptonite.

July 28, 2006 - Anderson Days Festival. I met an Anderson Township employee who told me that he wouldn't vote for me because he "didn't want his taxes to go up". It would not be possible for me to express how tired I am of hearing that. So I told him about the Taxpayer Union's report which calculated that since 1993 when George Voinovich was first took office, we have moved from the 30th highest taxed state (in terms of state and local taxes) to the 3rd highest - during a period of complete Republican control. The Anderson Township employee's response? "Well, what I'm afraid of is that if the Democrats are elected, we will be #1!" Lost vote, I guess.

July 17-22, 2006 - Warren County Fair. I have not been to a County or State Fair in a lot of years, and I had never been back in the business part of the Fair - the 4-H animal competition and sale. One of my first days at the Fair, I walked into the buildings with the animals - goats, sheep, pigs, steers, rabbits, and llamas. I walked up to one family shaving an animal. I asked why they were shaving it, and the father said that it was required prior to competition. When I found out that you could buy an animal for personal consumption, I mentioned how much I liked goat. A bit further in the conversation, I said that I would love to make a goat stew. The father stopped, looked at me, and said, "You DO know this is a sheep, don't you?"

Come Auction Day, I was determined to buy a goat. I had spoken at length with the families of two really nice young people (age 9 and 15) who raised goats for the Fair. I got my bid paddle, found out how to send the animals to a meat packer, and jumped into the stands. I'm glad I got there early, because the auctioneer was so fast, he was hard to follow at first. My first goat came up…raised by a great boy named Martin. I got really excited about all the goat stew, goat burgers, goat steaks, and goat spaghetti sauce I was going to make. I made the first bid, so I thought it was going to be easy. But then the bidding took off quickly. Then just as quickly it stopped, and I had bought Martin's goat for $150! The auctioneer announced, "SOLD to Rick Smith, Mr. Smith Goes To Columbus Committee, THANK YOU." Well, you can be sure that all the folks in this tent were regular voters, so the advertising value of the purchase was a nice bonus.

Later, Jeff Ruppert, Democratic candidate for the 67th State House District, said that he was the guy bidding against me - that's why the price shot up so quickly!

The second goat was actually a little smaller, but more expensive - Tara's brown beauty. See Martin and Tara in the pictures below.


By the way, the goats are EXCELLENT. Davidson Meat Processors in Waynesville did a great job.

July 16, 2006 - Immaculate Heart of Mary Festival: I hand my card to a man passing on the way to his car at the end of the evening. He has a commemorative festival beer cup in his hands (which by the way, is 32 oz. How do I know... well, let's just say "I know"). For some reason I turned around just in time to see him toss my card in the bushes. I said "Jeez, don't do that in FRONT of me - at least walk away 20 feet before you do that. Show some respect!". He said "Well I would if you would find a decent place to do this, and not be at a church festival." Well, he just kept on talking as he was walking, calling me a "piece of crap"; as you can imagine I was getting a little peeved. I had to quickly think of something to say that would get my point across yet not be so inflammatory that he would get violent. Suddenly I knew what to say: "Are you sure you are OK to drive?"

July 15, 2006 - Immaculate Heart of Mary Festival: A man waits patiently while I get a couple to sign the petition to increase the Minimum Wage. Once they are done, he says "I want to ask you a few questions." Right away I know I'm in for an earful. In rapid fashion, he asks me what I think of abortion, fetal stem cell research, euthanasia, and gay marriage. Of course, he doesn't let me really explain my answers to discuss some of the nuances of these issues. After saying, "You are against everything this Church stands for!", he storms off. I chalk the encounter up to a lost vote and nothing more, until a few minutes later, when one of the junior priests from the parish comes up to me and says, "I hate to have to talk to you about this, but I understand that you are circulating a petition promoting abortion, and we just can't have that." I tell him, "No, my petition is about raising the Minimum Wage, but I bet I know who told you that."

These experiences at IHM remind me to consider what the Apostle Paul wrote in his letter to the Romans: "Therefore you have no excuse, whoever you are, when you judge others; for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, are doing the very same things." (Romans 2:1) Since I really should not judge these individuals, I just have to assume that they were doing what they thought was the "Christian" thing to do.

July 3, 2006 - Lebanon Fourth of July Parade: I marched with the Warren County Democrats. Our reception was cordial, with even some applause. I am told that this was MUCH better than the response last year, when the Democrat's float was booed and jeered!

July 1, 2006 - Hyde Park Blast Festival: I'm shaking hands and handing out my cards (on which have my home phone number). I get a few challenges from the crowd, but for the most part people were very supportive. When I get home, I notice that I have a message. It is from someone calling from the festival, and I can even hear myself talking to someone else in the background. The important message that the caller was too embarrassed to tell me face-to-face: "You Liberal Dumbass!" How refreshing and courageous of him! This eloquent man should be in politics rather than toiling at two Minimum Wage jobs to feed his family. You can call him at 513-403-295x (isn't Caller ID wonderful?) and encourage him to use his skills for the public good!

On the way to the Corwin Tractor Show on July 29th, Rick Smith, Princeton and Wharton man, business professional, and successful dog owner, ran out of gas on I-71. Yes, you heard right, he RAN OUT OF GAS on I-71. Rick claims that he has run his gas gauge down that far many times before with no problems. Yeah, big-time denial is pretty typical of a politician.

Anyway, luckily Rick had AAA, so he got gas delivered, but it took over an hour, and he missed the parade part of the program. However, he did arrive in time to get a fine pork barbeque sandwich (and everything was suddenly right in the world)!

Sadly, not a single person stopped to help Rick while he was waiting for his AAA gas. Quite a sad commentary on the state of our society today. Maybe it was because his car had so many Democratic bumper stickers!

When Rick is elected, his head is going to be HUGE! The time to act is NOW! Just as with healthcare, prevention is always cheaper than treatment - so let's deflate his ego now, before it is too late.

Below are two pictures of Rick. Feel free to download one or both of them (right-click on the image and "Save Picture As"), and manipulate them in any program you have (Photoshop, Paint, etc.). Or you can create your own drawing of Rick from scratch. Email your masterpiece to rick@MrSmithGoesToColumbus.com. So long as your picture is not too lewd or crude, we'll post it on this page. Have fun! And remember, a politician is only as good as his cartoonists!

Our creative entries so far are:
"These were for my girlfriend, but now I offer them to YOU, the voter." Created by Andras N.	"On the Other Hand", says Libra Rick Smith. Created by Ron B-H
"Mayor Smith of Laughington" Created by Megan J.

In a blatant display of desperation after the announcement of the statewide "Republicans for Strickland" movement, the Republicans from Sycamore Township (my opponent's home turf) can be seen here buying votes with beer. Yes, the largest booth at the Sycamore Township Festival the night that 70's band Little Feat played was the Sycamore Republican's beer booth! Are the descendents of the "Fat Man in the Bathtub" (President W.H. Taft) giving us all the blues? Rumor has it that it was Buy 3-Get 1 Free on beer if you signed an absentee ballot form. Next scheduled appearance: Election Day!



Hey Kids, you can get in the act too! As part of the Laughington Pour Out the Vote campaign, we have provided this picture of democracy at work for you to download and color with your favorite colors. Just right-click and use the function. We recommend "Democratic-Envy Green" for the Republicans pouring the beer and "Beaten Red" for the back of the necks of the booth patrons (it was hot that day, after all). Those bright lights in the background are surely the power and wisdom of God, so "Hallowed-Yellow" might be appropriate.

Now that I have a bit more time on my hands, I thought I would offer some words of advice to a promising young politician, Rick Smith. He needs more help than I originally thought! I keep trying to get it through that thick skull of his, "Politicians give up their values for sex and money, NOT the other way around!"

Rick was confronted by his girlfriend recently about his abortion position, specifically, the "Male Responsibility" section. She told him, "How could you charge a man with a crime for having consensual sex? Your position is just stupid - it demeans men, it demeans woman. And then you're going to put their names on the INTERNET?!? I was going to raise money for you, and I was really starting to like you, but what happens when the press gets hold of this? They will CRUCIFY you, and I don't want to be seen by your side when they do!"

I told Rick, "Boy, right now you're a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, just curl up and give up. You got to know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. Armadillos need to learn how to play possum."

Even with the prospect of losing his companion, Rick held "firm" to his positions and refused to change! His girlfriend, the half-Russian, half-Chinese, Itzalla Bout Mi, said "Well then, I'm just going to go back to my old boyfriend, Donald Trump. HE knows how to treat a lady! I can be proud standing next to him!"

So, Rick lost his girlfriend to The Donald. YOU are his only hope, because once I'm in prison, Rick won't have my advice anymore. Read the Abortion Issue page and help him come up with another way to reduce unintended pregnancies, so he can give up his stupid idea and get back to all the sex and money he deserves!

Why do I call Tax Cut Promises the "Opiate of the Middle Class"? Because when people hear a politician talk about tax cuts, their eyes glaze over, they start to drool, and they will do anything the politician asks them to do, including electing him over and over again.

The problem with dealers, whether of opium or Tax Cut Promises, they always make the drug sound better than it is... and they don't ever talk about long-term consequences of their "product".

I would like to use the Ohio House Representative Tom Brinkman (34th District) as a prime example. There probably isn't anyone else in Southeast Ohio who has beat the drum about lower taxes and less government spending than Tom Brinkman. Would you be surprised to hear that since Brinkman has been in office, he has been the Primary Sponsor of 13 bills... not a single one of which deals with lowering taxes or spending?

In 2005 & 2006 (through May 21) he was a co-sponsor on another 69 bills, only 8 of which had anything to do with lowering taxes and spending (HB73, HB77, HB94, HB229, HB390, HB399, HB446, HB589). These included HB94, which in a valiant attempt to strike a blow for the Common Man, would "amend section 5739.01 of the Revised Code to exempt from the sales tax massage therapy that is provided by an individual who holds a certificate to practice massage therapy."

I have the utmost respect for massage therapists, but I think the voters who put Tom Brinkman in office were expecting just a bit more tax relief than this.

Meanwhile, Tom Brinkman was rated the least effective legislator by the Columbus Monthly, who interviewed state legislators, staffers, lobbyists, governor's office staff and journalists. Tom Brinkman was called "an uncompromisingly principled man. But he's a terrible, terrible legislator." This Columbus Monthly article won 1st Place for "Best Government Coverage" in 2004 from the Ohio Society of Professional Journalists. To be fair, the Columbus Monthly has not judged legislator effectiveness for 2004 through 2006.

Remember the next time any politician promises to "Lower Your Taxes"... the first one is always free.

In a clear demonstration of the power of Family Values, Rick Smith's ex-wife was one of the first group of donors to his campaign. Rick Smith, spokesperson for Rick Smith and the Mr. Smith Goes To Columbus Committee, said, "I was so touched by her contribution. It shows how even non-traditional families can have values - and I value that."

Rick's ex-wife, after insisting that this site maintain her anonymity, said, "I am touched that you care so much, but it really wasn't that hard to give to my ex-husband - after all, you get the $50 right back from Ohio when you file your taxes." When asked about contributing again this year, the concerned and supportive woman asked, "They haven't changed the tax laws have they? Oh good! And just to make sure, this Senator job would keep him out of town in Columbus more, right? Damn right I'm contributing again!"